Musings and Forbidden Lovers
by EricaLumiere
Summary: A certain elf tells a small part of his big story


Summary: a certain elf tells you - the reader - a small section of his whole story.  
Disclaimer: I own nada. Nada nada nada!  
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I know everyone thinks I am so strong, but in fact, I am quite the opposite. I am broken down, a tortured soul, but I cannot let that show. I learned long ago to never show true feelings, especially in situations involving those that are dear to you. I put on my mask and join the others, pretending to be the strong, silent one I am not.   
  
There is only one to whom I let my feelings show to. She is the only one I trust; she has grown up with me and we shared good times, bad times, in-between times, and times that we were not sure what they were.  
  
I met her back when I was a foolish young prince, trying to prove my self and my worthiness. She'd never laughed at my mistakes, just smiled reassuringly, and that is when I began to trust her.  
  
But I needn't worry about that, for now I am a skilled warrior, capable of keeping this facade for as long is necessary.  
  
One part of being a warrior is going about undetected; hidden in shadow, even where there is none. Yet another piece of that is to be able to lie, lie to strangers, friends, and even lovers.  
This is a burden to me, and pains my heart, but I must. It is to help protect them, it is to protect me, it is to protect all of us.  
  
The only one I do not have to lie to is my one - my star of hope in a dark world filled with cruelty and hate.  
  
I do not have to lie to her because she already knows the truth; she can see it in my face without my speaking.  
  
Many do not know of whom I speak of; for she is a forbidden lover of mine. She is a queen of a great territory, married to a wonderful king, one of my dearest of friends.   
That is why I cannot love her anymore.  
  
He took her away from me, many years ago. He took her away from me, and away from her people. Many asked her not to leave us, but she would not leave her lover. Her new lover, that is.  
Yes, she was mine, once, long years ago. We were inseparable, spending days and nights together at a time, never leaving one another's sides. When one if us was sad or depressed, the other would know just how to put a smile back on their face.  
  
I remember the day when she met him. The other man. He was not too extraordinary from the other men that wanted to court her - he was a handsome, strong fighter with royalty in his blood. And yet, he was different.  
  
He was raised by the elves, so he understood many things about our people. He charmed her, swept her off her feet, and took her away from me.  
  
I don't think either one of them know how much it has hurt me.  
  
Or maybe they just don't care.  
  
Whatever the matter is, I am on seemingly-friendly terms with him - and I still do love her - and when I found out they were getting married...  
  
I do not know why I am telling you, of all people, this. You must find it truly uninteresting, a tale you've heard a thousand times before from others like me, I was in love; enter new man, good-bye love of my life.  
  
Oh? You are not leaving? You find my rambling worthy of your time? Well, then I shall continue.  
I knew I did have much to offer her, but so did he, but things like that did not matter to her. She could love a poor beggar and be happy, so long as it was true love.  
  
My Undomiel - as I once called her - loved me for who I was, and if anything, she didn't want to be queen of Mirkwood. She was intimidated with power, and felt she didn't deserve it. She told me this once, and I wanted to tell her king, to destroy their relationship and have her come back to me, but it was not in me. I am not kind of a man.  
  
So I have made my decision - I will stay. I will stay and wait for her to pass. She asked it of me once, in her quiet voice; "Will you not stay? Stay and see me to unknown lands?" The only thing I could do was agree to her proposal.   
  
I have watched her all these long, trying years, quietly, from my dark corner of the room. I know everyone thinks that I have long since sailed over the Sea to the Undying Lands, but she has not left yet. I made a promise, and I shall keep it. I will stay, for her sake.  
  
Her king knows I am still here, but we do not speak. Not anymore, anyway.   
  
She asked me once, if I would leave and pass over the Sea, but I refused, told her I had a promise to keep.  
  
She smiled sadly at me, and said it did not matter, for it would be time enough.  
  
I knew what she meant, and soon, only mere seasons later, she was fading. I went to say good-bye to her one last time, then she was gone. Almost as if she had never been there. She was now a shadow, a small mark on the page of history and time.   
  
But to me, she was so much more.  
  
I keep a picture of her in my mind, knowing that she was my first true love, the only who could ever break the heart of a cold, hard warrior. I do not know how she did it, but soon everything will be fine. I am going to the Lands soon, and although I may never see her again - if only in my dreams - I know I shall be all right; the world will keep turning, her children will have children, and trees shall continue to grow. So long as that is how it shall be, I know my broken heart will mend and I shall weep no more.  
  
And that, friend, is my tale. I hope it was not too long or boring, that something somewhere in here kept your interest. I know I leave many things unexplained, but maybe one day you shall read about it, or hear a tale, 'Prince of Mirkwood and His Broken Heart and the World He Traveled In'. Maybe you already know the full tale, and will tell it to someone else. I smile upon you, friend. Just a few simple things I ask of you, if you must repeat this. Do not leave anything out, keep facts straight, and remember - Evenstar. Whisper it... Evenstar...  
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A/N: Well, how was it? R/R please, but no flames. And in case you couldn't figure it out, it was Legolas, talking about Arwen and Aragorn. I know I left a lot out, but maybe, you'd like to hear another one? ^_~ 


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